Breaking Bad

“Breaking Bad” is a wonderful TV program starring the excellent Bryan Cranston as  Walter White, the cancer-riddled school teacher who wanted to make sure he doesn’t burden his family with debts after he’s passed on by manufacturing crystal meth with a former student of his. Good family man, that Walt White. I’ve only ever seen Bryan Cranston in comedies like “Malcolm in the Middle” and my favorite role of his up to date in “Seinfeld” as Tim Whatley. As a gift for my friend Pacheco, who is the guru on my path to enlightenment, I’ve painted him some of the choice characters from “Breaking Bad.”

Walt and Jesse, his student and “business partner.”

Gus Fring, their other business partner.

Tuco, the psychotic drug distributor, holding his two favorite things: Gun and ice.

Skylar, Walt’s pregnant wife.

Just to shake things up a bit, Walt’s brother-in-law is Hank, a DEA agent.

Marie Schrader, Walt’s sister-in-law who also happened to be a kleptomaniac.

Happy Birthday, Mr. Pacheco!

This Thanksgiving

This Thanksgiving I’m thankful I don’t have any personal friends who are turkeys. I’m thankful that I don’t own a gorilla. I’m thankful I’m not allergic to tissues. I’m thankful that air is translucent. I’m thankful I don’t have any children. I’m thankful I have only two nostrils. I’m thankful that “3” comes after “2”. I’m thankful for the freezing temperature of metal. I’m thankful I don’t need to speak fluent Russian to operate my TV. I’m thankful I wasn’t born with my lungs on the outside of my body. I’m thankful zippers go in two directions. I’m thankful when I jump I don’t just keep going up higher and higher. I’m thankful women don’t look like men. I’m thankful dogs are sold fully assembled. I’m thankful I don’t have nerve endings in my hair. I’m thankful aliens eventually return their abductees. But most of all, I’m thankful I’m where I’m at and that I hope those of you who celebrate Thanksgiving have already or are having a great day too.

Portraits of a Lady

This set was requested by someone who obviously loves his lady very very much. I totally dig that. Why give the special someone in your life a run-of-the-mill tennis bracelet when you can have ol’ Ms. Irene here paint her a custom set of dolls? It was so much fun making this set because it’s all kinds of girlie and the next few sets of dolls are not going to be “pretty.”

There’s just something so spectacular about someone in your life giving you customized gifts, isn’t there? For instance, I knew it was true love when my hubs made me a padded seat for my kayak. That, and a foot locker to stow my precious cargo. I’m trying to convince him I need a waterproof hatch for my snacks, readily available as I paddle. Oh, and a stand on the front deck to mount a small television/DVD player on, but he told me he doesn’t love me that much.

The Wonderful Wizard of Oz

The idea to paint Dorothy Gale and her cohorts had never been an urgent one. I wasn’t crazy about the original movie (although I do love the creepy sequel: “Return to Oz” starring the pre-scary Fairuza Balk of “The Craft”), so I was a little surprised by the sudden desire to paint this set. It might have something to do with the piece of tri-colored faux fur that I spotted and all of sudden, everything just clicked into place.

They’re not the most traditional set of Wizard of Oz dolls, but who says I have to stick to the script?

Here’s the Scarecrow with faux burlap sack for a head (it’s unbleached linen, but it totally does the trick…and much easier to paint on than actual burlap). I bullied my friend Kristy to hand over the raffia she had in her car. It’s not safe allowing me into your private domains because I’m an unscrupulous scavenger.

Owls are a symbol of intelligence…and they’re not as creepy as, say a scarecrow holding a jar of brains. Corduroy sport coats also reminds me of doctorate candidates who see nothing wrong with giving a nine-year-old girl Faulkner for her birthday. Yes, I still have that book, and it’s very useful as a leg substitute for my bureau.

Here’s the Tin Woodman. In this Alternate Oz, he’s a bit of a dandy. Don’t you love his glittery heart?

I loved the idea of the Cowardly Lion having tri-colored mane AND sporting a snazzy fur collared tweed coat. Here he’s holding a crown to symbolize courage. His mane was the whole reason for this set. Although I immensely enjoyed styling his hair, I also knew that I have no business doing people’s hair.

There were probably very few private schools in Kansas in 1900, which was why I nixed the idea of putting Dorothy in a jaunty plaid skirt, but there’s no reason why she shouldn’t wear a sweater.

I think I’m going to ask for a pair of sparkly red shoes for Christmas this year.

Toto was fun to do. This was the first time I’ve ever sculpted a nose and ears directly onto a pet.

Whew! Glad that’s over and done with. Now let’s talk about “Return to Oz.” I showed this to my students back in the days and a few of them were reduced to tears. Can you blame them? I mean, just look at this scene!

This is where the evil Mombi kept all the pretty girls’ heads…she would switch them up like a person would a hat. Fantastic movie.