Winter Wonderland

I absolutely love living in Oz, but I do really miss “real” winter: The snow, the ice, the layering up as a defense against the elements…I love it all!

Here’s a little homage to my favorite season, the Winter Wonderland pincushions:

A trip to the Train Museum Workshop in Ipswitch gave me an idea on what to use for snow…I’ve been using fake coconut flakes for miniatures as a substitute, but it’ll run up a pretty penny if you’re making anything other than teeny cookies. The solution? Fake snow from Woodland Scenics!

I was wondering what to use for the snowman’s arms when I remembered that I have in my possession a stick of black coral. They’re absolutely perfect for this project!

The pins consist of a top hat for the snowman as well as a mitten and a matching scarf.

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The Life Aquatic (Mini)

Remember these guys? The crew of Belafonte from “The Life Aquatic” is back and in miniature form.

Now if you’ll excuse me, it’s time to play that movie again whilst I paint…on my mini dvd player, of course!

Audition

I kind of see the Japanese horror film “Audition” as a cautionary tale. It is also the reason why I never went the way of internet dating…because crazy doesn’t really translate onto paper now, does it?

“Audition,” a film by Takashi Miike, tells the story of a widower who decides to find his new bride by holding a series of auditions by telling them it was for a role in a movie he’s directing. Wouldn’t you know it, he manages to pick out Asami Yamazaki, Ms. Psychopath of the Year.

Since the Japanese are fond of taking slow-moving storytelling to the next level, I was able to do a whole load of laundry while keeping an eye out for the “good” parts. And boy, there were plenty. That creepy scene where it was revealed that Asami lived in a crumbling apartment with nothing but a telephone and a giant sack that makes gurgling sounds in the room; the old man in a wheelchair watching a young Asami dance before burning her thighs; a description of a murder so grisly that literally turned my stomach (I think what puts it over the top was when it was said that extra body parts were found at the crime scene).

I’m not going to give it all away. Let’s just say that this movie might’ve been a shout out to women’s lib, but in the typical disturbing J-Horror way.

We first meet the sweet and demure Asami at the audition.

During the flashback, we see why Asami turned out the way she did.

The super psycho Asami and an example of what happens to some abused children with strong and twisted will if not treated properly by licensed psychiatrists.

You can definitely stream this off Netflix. But a word of caution: This movie teeters dangerously between mind-numbing tedium and utter terror. Consider yourself warned!

Hansel and Gretel/The Gingerbread House

There are precious few horror movies out there that is both terrifying and visually compelling. “Pan’s Labyrinth” is one such movie, so is “The Orphanage.” After last night, I’m adding the most excellent K-horror “Hansel and Gretel” into the pot. What a beautifully made movie. Extra kudos to the set designer Ryu Seong-hee, who is now dominating the top of my list of people whose talents I covet.

In a way, I wished that I’d seen the movie before creating this Gingerbread House sewing jar so it’d look extra creepy. Then again, who wants a creepy Gingerbead House sewing jar?

Here are some stills from “Hansel and Gretel” that I absolutely must share!

Here’s one of the kids leading the main character into the seemingly jolly “House of Happy Children.

The three kids are mesmerized by a sadistic black and white cartoon with low production value in their gorgeous living room.

 The youngest wondering if the main character would tell her a story.

The kids enjoying a sumptuous meal of cakes and other sugary treats. Yum!

This film is totally my jam: Sugary treacles for breakfast? Yes! A doll carriage filled with broken doll head? Bring it! Children possessing eerie Twilight Zone-esque powers? I believe I’m having the shakes…And a murderous deacon wearing an Edward Gorey-inspired winter coat? Oh, my god! Here comes a seizure!

Sadly, this cannot be rented or streamed off Netflix. Don’t you wish (that is, if you’re a New Yorker) that Kim’s Video is still in business?

Carry My Joy on the Left

…carry my pain on the right…

I guess I’m a bit of a Bjork fan. By that I mean I don’t own ALL of her albums, but I do have a hard-to-find VHS tape of her first movie “The Juniper Tree” and I used to knob up my hair during my art school days. Here’s a shout out to the kookiest girl in the world:

Bjork!

Bjork’s fabulous bell dress from her “Who Is It” video had me collecting about a million beads and sewing them together to create a miniature version. It’s not as spectacular as Alexander McQueen’s original creation, but I’m pretty pleased with the result…especially since I did it while watching “Bret Michael’s Rock of Love (season one)” marathon and was feeling a little dirty the whole time.

This one is from Bjork’s “Wanderlust” video. Did anyone see it in 3-D? Her videos are like weird little Michael Gondry movies, aren’t they?…especially ones directed by Michael Gondry.

“Wanderlust”

I was originally going to paint the smallest Bjork in her infamous swan dress, but at the last minute I went with a “classic Bjork.” Nobody can pull off hair knobs quite as coolly as her in “Venus as a Boy.”

I had such a blast doing this set that I’ve already got another idea for a trio of Bjorks in the near future!