YouTube Babushkas

You know what’s so awesome about my homeboy Gabe Pacheco? Instead of sending me a thank you note, he made a YouTube video of the Breaking Bad dolls I gave him for his birthday/Christmas/hosting the wedding banquet that was so poorly organized only a gifted comedian could make it memorable in a good way.

For the record, I do listen to other things besides prog rock in my sweat shop. Like  audio crime novels. Latest penny dreadful I wish I’d written: Ghostman by Roger Hobbs. It’s especially excellent because this book is like a crash course on how to conduct a flawless bank heist, destroy getaway cars properly, and obscure your identity. And you won’t believe what liberal applications of nutmeg can do to a person. Check it out. And check out Gabe Pacheco on Facebook if you’re in NYC. Dude hosts comedy shows around town all year long.

Monty Python and the Holy Grail

My brother and I pretty much learned English from watching He-Man and Monty Python. This might explain the Chinglish accent that plagued me for years before it finally diluted itself to an unflattering Queens twang. Needless to say, Monty Python holds a special place in my heart, and I’m pretty sure my brother’s also since we still quote the lines from the ingenious Holy Grail from time to time. This is why homeboy’s getting his own set of Monty Python Knights of the Round Table for his birthday this year.

Clockwise from top: King Arthur, Sir Bedevere the Wise, Sir Galahad the Pure, Sir Robin the Not Quite So Brave as Sir Lancelot, and Sir Lancelot the Brave—the silly English K-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-niggits!

The Pastry Chef

For someone who’s obsessed with food and miniatures and miniature foods, Re-ment is a godsend. Well, not really, since collecting it can burn a serious hole in one’s pocket. I was able to amass a serious collection a few years back and am now the proud owner of many hard-to-find and discontinued sets. Unfortunately, I have collected so much that it required multiple shipments for me to transport it all to Oz from the US (my parents simply gave me this look when I suggested that they send it to me bi-monthly), so I only have a few sets here at my disposal.

Luckily, I had the foresight to bring fourth my entire cakes and bakery collection so I was able to do this:

I know, I know, I should use my free time more constructively…like maybe figure out how to stop the ants from coming in and dying in my bathroom.

Another Alice

I’ve been totally obsessed with Alice in Wonderland/Through the Looking Glass for as long as I can remember. It might have something to do with the fact that I appreciate madness and mayhem and absurdity in the everyday life, and Lewis Carroll has written stories chuck full of it.

This is my not-so-PC version of Alice. Whilst working on it I started reading another take of the Alice story called “Splintered” by H.G. Howard. It’s always fun to see how other people interpret the classics. I’m only a couple of chapters into it, but so far it’s enjoyable.

What annoys me the most about the film versions is that there had to be some sort of achievements Alice needs to pertain in order to grow up as a proper lady. It sort of takes the whimsy out of everything. Why can’t it just be good, meaningless fun? I believe the best Alice movie has got to be Czech filmmaker Jan Švankmajer’s stop motion version entitled Něco z Alenky  (“Something From Alice”, or simply “Alice” in the English translation. It’s suitably creepy for those of you who like dark things. The critters in the movies looked as though they’ve been salvaged from a taxidermist’s garage sale. Best of all, this movie can be streamed off Netflix! For those of you who are turned off on the idea of foreign films because of the subtitle issues, don’t worry. Dialogues in this one is minimal.

Introducing Trixie

Trixie came about after I read The Snow Child by Eowyn Ivey. The story took place in Alaska, a perfect read during the sultry Australian summer months. It’s a fairy tale written for adults about a childless couple thriving in the Alaskan wilderness, a mysterious girl who may or may not have been made out of snow accompanied by a red fox, and unexpectedly, sewing.

I miss my dirndls. That’s right, I owned not one but two dirndls and I used to wear it un-ironically (it also doubled as a Halloween costume—wherein during the day, with a red cape, I was the Little Red Riding Hood as not to offend my students and colleagues. At night, however, I became an Oktoberfest beer wench. Dirndls are marvelous things).

When it’s time to choose an outfit to make for Trixie, I went straight for the Little Red Riding Hood ensemble since it’s a great excuse to make a mini dirndl.

I also made a little button clasp shaped like a pretzel. Perhaps there’s a larger one in the works for myself to wear?

Into the Woods

Retelling fairy tales are all the rage these days, isn’t it? One of my faves is the YA series “Lunar Chronicles” by Marissa Meyer. The first one “Cinder” is loosely based on Cinderella, except in this one she’s a mechanic and a cyborg. I was listening to the audio book of the second one “Scarlet” (loosely based on Little Red Riding Hood) while painting and I have to admit it’s heavily influenced my take on this Steampunk Fairy Tales set.

The thing about these fairy tale remakes is that the heroines tend to be ass-kickers. These gals are tough and not very feminine and their central focus is not to meet Prince Charming and get married but rather to hitch up their skirts and kick more asses. I’ve included two guys in this set because they more or less inserted themselves into it without consulting me, or else it’d be fun to put in Rapunzel and the Little Mermaid. Next time.

The Little Red Riding Hood has got herself a crossbow, some serious arrows, and a lunch bucket filled with goodies for grandma. I’m not going to pretend there’s just bread and cheese in the bucket because for this tough gal, you know her kin would appreciate a small semi automatic more.

Jack got himself a blunderbuss in order to rob the Giant in the Sky of the hen that lays the golden egg. I’ve always find that story a little upsetting because when it comes down to it, Jack’s just a petty thief and he’s got no business stealing from the big boy.

This Cinderella is not a cyborg, obviously, but her stepmother’s evil enough to insist on getting a bionic arm for her—mostly to up her work level.

I wouldn’t mess with this Snow White if I were her stepmother. The girl’s got herself a stun gun, for crying out loud.

Here Rumpelstiltskin is just showing off his ability to spin straw into gold and my very first attempt to paint a spinning wheel.

Now, what’s this I hear about turning Broadway’s “Into the Woods” into a motion picture starring Meryl Streep? What’s wrong with having Bernadette Peters reprise the role of the witch she’s created?

Fun Fun Fun!

Once again, I’m coming at cha with some more Russian doll shaped key chains.

 

Here’s Batman and Robin

 

Wonder Woman and Darth Vader

 

Mr. Spock and Uhura

 

Frida Kahlo and a Luchador.

A Different View

Every now and then I get suggestions and requests, which I always take into serious consideration. It may take a while to come to fruition, but it’ll get there. Case and point:

This set was requested by someone who obviously got tired of the same ol’ Life Aquatic Belafonte crew. I totally agree! It’s been on the back burner for a while now and I finally pinched enough hours here and there to knock this one out.

Here’s Steve Zissou’s ex-wife Eleanor and Ned Plimpton wearing a more casual Team Zissou ensemble.

Here’s also Anne-Marie Sakowitz, the often topless script girl and another member of Team Zissou that I always wanted to paint; and Werner, Steve’s nephew.

It’s All Relative

Family portraits are not the easiest to organize, is it? You have to get everyone to show up at the right place and at the right time; you have to make sure your outfits coordinate with one another. If there are young children involved, you have to make sure they can sit or stand still long enough without sticking a finger up their nose. My parents were smart. They didn’t even bother doing a formal family portrait with my brother and me until we were well into our teens.

It’s different with dolls, though. All you have to do is send me pics of people or animals you want painted, tell me what outfits you want done (or in this case, several close ups of the outfits itself from the very accommodating Miz L), and bam, you have yourself and your family members immortalized on a set of Russian dolls. Not a bad deal, is it? Best of all, you don’t even have to cover that pesky pimple and practice “simizing” in front of a mirror.

Everybody should have a hat that asks a delicate question.

…and every kid should have a Nutcase helmet (their motto is: I love my brain).

I’ve painted countless cats before, but this is the first time I ever painted a polydactl kitty. Apparently he’s got several extra toes…my kind of cat!

Rushmore

The cast of Rushmore: Max Fischer, Herman Blume, and Rosemary Cross

This is one of my favorite parts in the movie—Herman Blume’s speech to the students of Rushmore Academy:

“You guys have it real easy. I never had it like this where I grew up. But I send my kids here because the fact is you go to one of the best schools in the country: Rushmore. Now, for some of you it doesn’t matter. You were born rich and you’re going to stay rich. But here’s my advice to the rest of you: Take dead aim on the rich boys. Get them in the crosshairs and take them down. Just remember, they can buy anything but they can’t buy backbone. Don’t let them forget it. Thank you.”