For one insane moment in my life, I’d actually contemplated on quitting my job and getting a degree in cryptozoology, which is a study of “hidden” animals. This idea came about after watching Werner Herzog’s “Incident at Loch Ness.” I’d get to travel the world looking for Big Foot and Monster Sea Serpents and fiddling with high-end sonar-related equipment. And then I watched “Boggy Creek II: And the Legend Continues” —Mystery Science Theater 3000-style—and changed my mind. If being a cryptozoologist means having to wear short shorts, tube socks, and hanging out in a van all day with the dean’s son who whips off his shirt at an alarmingly frequency just to track a monster, I’ll cheerfully leave that to someone else.

But that doesn’t mean I can’t paint a few cryptids, right?

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Here we have a few kids entrusted with the care of these mythical creatures at the National Society of Cryptozoology. Their daily chores includes playing with the animals, documenting their habits, behaviors and bowel movements and making sure that they are, above all, happy.

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Cecil hangs out at a nearby farm with his unicorn, Cornelius.

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Cornelius sustains on a healthy diet of hay and apples. His horn also requires daily polishing.

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Ursula and her parents went to Tibet and brought back the little orphaned Yeti, whom they’ve named Yancy.

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Ursula and Yancy shared a common love for cookies embedded with M&Ms. (Left: a close up of Ursula’s brooch, which depicts the tree where she found Yancy.)

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Angus was the first person the find and befriend the Loch Ness Monster, Ian, whose disposition was not as monstrous as his moniker led everyone to believe.

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Angus and Ian love a rousing game of kick ball!

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The only reason why Natasha was able to nab the super quick jackalope was because of her uncanny ability to speak rabbit. That, and the fact that she reeked mildly of carrot soup. She and Aunt Benny got along well, although Aunt Benny’s interest in Natasha usually wanes after discovering all the carrots in her pockets were gone.

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Billy was playing ball by the pond in the park when he accidentally beamed Hortensia, the mermaid who lived among the lily pads. In order to help her convalesce, Billy transferred his goldfish into his mother’s salad bowl so Hortensia could take up temporary residence. Even though she’s feeling much better now and had since moved back home, Hortensia still asked Billy to take her out to see the world now and then—the Paramus Mall being her favorite spot.

This set of dolls are an expansion of a series of four small paintings I did last year…

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…which was inspired by The Beastie Boys’ “Triple Trouble!”

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